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This Thing Called Love
There are times when we are
timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing
the other person, or yourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words
"I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really,
these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to
me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange
people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should
say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so
real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other
words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning
never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling
unloved and unwanted
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying
to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the
manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries
more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed
insincerely
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying
very different. Any expression of a person's concern for another says I
love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel.
Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that
contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room.
The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will
hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to
be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in
her nagging. But it is love all the same
A daughter comes home late, way
past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The
daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will
hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the
father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are
important to me.
We say I love you in many ways
- with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with
tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a
word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely
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