60th Birthday Humor

by allinspiration.com

“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“May you live all the days of your life.”
– Jonathan Swift

“If you survive long enough, you’re revered – rather like an old building.”
– Katherine Hepburn

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier

“When I passed forty I dropped pretense, ’cause men like women who got some sense.”
– Maya Angelou

“60: If age is only in the mind, someone should tell that to my aching bones.”
– Melanie White

“At 60, you’re no longer going gray, you’re already there.”
– Melanie White

“Congrats – you’re 60! If you acted your age, you’d be schizophrenic.”
– Melanie White

“It took me awhile, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. I wonder how much longer till graduation?”
– Melanie White

“Now that I’m 60 and ready to read all those books I have piled up, it’s too bad I can’t see the words.”
– Melanie White

“Now that I’m 60, I can travel light because I don’t really care what I look like.”
– Melanie White

“Now that I’m 60, I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.”
– Melanie White

“Now that you’re 60, get ready to be stalked by AARP.”
– Melanie White

“Turning 60 has nothing to do with performance – just the speed of performance.”
– Melanie White

“When you’re 60 you start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?”
– Melanie White

“When you’re 60, nothing works like it used to, especially not my husband.”
– Melanie White

“When you’re 60, you have a lot more than you used to – especially aches and pains.”
– Melanie White

“Now that I’m 60, every morning I look in the mirror and say, “I don’t know who you are, stranger, but I’m gonna shave you anyway”.”
– Milton Friedman

“I love everything that’s old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.”
– Oliver Goldsmith

“Those whom the gods love grow young.”
– Oscar Wilde

“One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late.”
– Pablo Picasso

“Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?”
– Paul Mccartney

“The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines.”
– Plato

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.”
– Robert Browning

“The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.”
– Robert Orben

“You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.”
– Sir Seymour Hicks

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age.”
– Sofia Loren

“Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.”
– Susan B. Anthony

“I wanted to show I had balls at age 60. Just because society says I’m old, doesn’t mean that I am. I’m pursuing happiness, even if it makes the people around me unhappy.”
– Sylvester Stallone

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