Alcohol Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“I don’t smoke marijuana anymore. I don’t drink. Marijuana is a handicap. So is alcohol. Alcohol is a terrible handicap. But in spite of being a handicap, it shouldn’t be criminal.”
– Gary Johnson 

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
– George Bernard Shaw 

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
– George Burns

“What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!”
– George Gordon

“Just as the process of repealing national alcohol prohibition began with individual states repealing their own prohibition laws, so individual states must now take the initiative with respect to repealing marijuana prohibition laws.”
– George Soros 

“Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.”
– Giuseppe Garibaldi

“Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.”
– Graham Greene

“There was a tacit understanding between them that ‘liquor helped’; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief.” 
– Graham Greene

“If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.”
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.”
– H.L. Mencken, Prejudices

“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.”
– Henny Youngman

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
– Henny Youngman

“Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much.  Then again, don’t drink too little.”
– Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen

“Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.”
– Homer Simpson

“No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.”
– Horace

“We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey.  Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.”
– Horace Hutchinson

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
– Hunter S. Thompson 

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
– Jack Handey

“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”
– Jack Handey

“One martini is all right.  Two are too many, and three are not enough.”
– James Thurber

“A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner.  “Much obliged,” said he, pushing the plate aside, “I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.”
– Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

“Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his disposal. Drugs, alcohol, or lies. Unable to withdraw into himself, he disguises himself. Lies and inaccuracy give him a few moments of comfort.”
– Jean Cocteau 

“Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”
– Jean Kerr

“I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.”
– Jim Carrey 

“As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.”
– Jim Ramstad 

“When the wine goes in, strange things come out.”
– Johann Christoph Friedrich

“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.”
– John Marcellus Huston

“Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord.”
– John R. Kemble

“If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.”
– Joseph Schenck

“I don’t even drink! I can’t stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year‘s Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don’t touch booze – I’m always the designated driver.”
– Kim Kardashian 

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