Amusing Quotations And Sayings To Bring Some Humor

by allinspiration.com

“Churchill was one of the few men I have met who even in the flesh give me the impression of genius. George Bernard Shaw is another. It is amusing to know that each thinks the other is overrated.”
– David Low

“I wish everyone was peaceful. Then I could take over the planet with a butter knife”
– Dogbert

“Auntie Em: hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.”
– Dorothy

“The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.”
– Doug Larson

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
– Ed Furgol

“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”
– Edward Abbey

“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.”
– Edward Langley

“I’d say I’m the opposite of someone that has the urge to stand in front of strangers and make them laugh, but the idea of getting up and telling a story and people finding it amusing always appealed to me.”
– Eric Bana

“Now I can broadcast to an audience of several million people on the ‘Today’ programme. I can talk about the day’s news. But on radio, believe it or not, we have notes and scripts. And while we might ad lib the odd wryly amusing asides, they come at the frequency of a suburban bus. About one every 90 minutes.”
– Evan Davis

“Paul Lucas had a particularly amusing accent, so I chuckled. That was terrible; I shouldn’t have done that, but he took it too big. He got up and said he couldn’t work with people who laughed at him!”
– Fay Wray

“Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.”
– Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

“Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.”
– Fred Brooks

“Things are never so bad they can’t be made worse.”
– From the movie The African Queen

“I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.”
– Gandhi

“C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.”
– Gavin Russell Baker

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.”
– General George Patton

“First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. ”
– Gore Vidal

“When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.”
– Griffin

“I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.”
– H. L. Mencken

“Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.”
– Henrik Tikkanen

“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it.”
– Henry Ford

“The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.”
– Henry Kissinger

“Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt.”
– Herbert Hoover

“Film sets are constantly amusing because you really are creating something that is so very surreal, and I kind of like that.”
– Hugo Weaving

“Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it.”
– Irene Peter

“I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them”
– Isaac Asimov

“However my parents – both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing quirk that would never pay a mortgage or secure a pension.”
– J. K. Rowling

“Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.”
– James Anthony Froude

“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.”
– Jeremy S. Anderson

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