Amusing Quotations And Sayings To Bring Some Humor

by allinspiration.com

“Nothing is so perfectly amusing as a total change of ideas.”
– Sterne Laurence

“Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.”
– Susan Ertz

“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes.”
– The Houghton Line, November 1965

“I don’t like to talk much with people who always agree with me. It is amusing to coquette with an echo for a little while, but one soon tires of it.”
– Thomas Carlyle

“Many would be cowards if they had courage enough. ”
– Thomas Fuller

“Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies”
– Thomas Jefferson

“This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.”
– Thomas Kretschmann

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”
– Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

“Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre, he could be a very funny man to work with, always telling jokes and holding court. Of course, when I worked with Charlie he was getting older.”
– Tippi Hedren

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.”
– Tom Waits

“Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.”
– Tom Waits

“The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.”
– Vail’s Second Axiom

“Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?”
– Vale Spike Milligan

“The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
– Voltaire

“If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization”
– Weinberg’s Second Law

“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.”
– Western Union internal memo, 1876.

“Sometimes I have wondered whether life wouldn’t be much more amusing if we were all devils, and no nonsense about angels and being good.”
– William Hurlbut

“Things people say strike me as amusing, and I am prone to saying out loud what everybody’s thinking.”
– William Shatner

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”
– Winston Churchill

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
– Winston Churchill

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing—after they’ve tried everything else.”
– Winston Churchill

“This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.”
– Winston Churchill

“Of course, we are all worms—but I like to think, at least, that I am a glow-worm.”
– Winston Churchill

“Movies are usually difficult, often insane, constantly challenging and always strangely amusing to make.”
– Yahoo Serious

“Always in motion the future is. Seasick it makes me. That’s why so green I am”
– Yoda

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