Chuck Norris Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“Got milk? ..Chuck Norris does”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris can block a punch with his face”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language…”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Just tired too Google Chuck Norris real name…And Google told me too stop looking for trouble…”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Enough of the Chuck Norris crap already!”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris once scared the fur off an ewok. We now know that ewok as Snookie.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris Is A Strict Parent. This One Time His Daughter Amy Said No To Rehab. He Didn’t Give Her A Chance To Say No Again.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris’ sperm is so tough that women have to chew it before they can swallow it.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Its not A Good idea to try chewing a Jaw Breaker unless your Chuck Norris.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Breaking News: During the D.C. Earthquake, Chuck Norris was spotted doing push-ups.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because its been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he stares at it and dares it to grow.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Why doesn’t Chuck Norris wear condoms???? There’s no protection from Chuck Norris….”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is The Two”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Dear Chuck Norris, Remember- I kicked your A$$. It’s on Youtube. Yours, Bruce Lee”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“When Chuck Norris says stop, Mc Hammer doesn’t say Hammer time Chuck Norris does.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Charlie Sheen is WINNING… Chuck Norris already won…”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris can tell if a lie detector tells a lie.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Somebody saw Chuck Norris diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Charlie Sheen is only winning because Chuck Norris isn’t playing.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“In space Chuck Norris can hear you scream”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris broke a vice trying to crack his knuckles.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created Chuck Norris.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“Aliens exist. They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they invade.”
– Chuck Norris Saying

“If Chuck Norris ever got caught speeding, HE’D let the cop off with a warning”
– Chuck Norris Saying

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