Drinking Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
– Frank Zappa

“When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.”
– Frantois Rabelais

“No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.”
– G. K. Chesterton

“Wine is sunlight, held together by water.”
– Galileo

“I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before.  With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before.”
– George Axelrod

“Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
– George Best

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” 
– George Burns

“I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.”
– George Gobel

“I drink to make other people interesting.”
– George Jean Nathan

“I drink to make other people interesting.”
– George Jean Nathan.

“Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.”
– Giuseppe Garibaldi

“Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.”
– Graham Greene

“If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.”
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.”
– H.L. Mencken

“My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.”
– Henny Youngman

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
– Henny Youngman

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”
– Henry Lawson

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
– Henry Youngman

“Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much.  Then again, don’t drink too little.”
– Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith

“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.”
– Homer Simpson

“Beer is the cause and solution to all of life‘s problems.”
– Homer Simpson

“Beer, the cause of and solution to, all life’s problems.”
– Homer Simpson

“We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey.  Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.”
– Horace Hutchinson

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
– Humphrey Bogart 

“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.”
– Irish Proverb

“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? ”
– Jack Handey

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.”
– Jack Handey

“Deep Thought: Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
– Jack Handy

“One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.”
– James Thurber

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