Drinking Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.”
– Richard Braunstein

“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.”
– Robert Benchley

“Why don’t you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?”
– Robert Benchley

“Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.”
– Robert Heinlein

“Wine is bottled poetry.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  And try to find somebody who’s life is giving them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White

“Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.”
– Ross Levy

“This is one of the disadvantages of wine:  it makes a man mistake words for thought.”
– Samuel Johnson

“Wine gives a man nothing… it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.”
– Samuel Johnson

“They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.”
– Scottish Proverb

“They talk of my drinking but never my thirst.”
– Scottish saying.

“Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.”
– Seneca

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.”
– Simpsons

“The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.”
– Simpsons

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”
– Stephen Wright

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
– Steve Fergosi

“I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did.”
– Steve Krabitz

“[H]uman feet are conspicuously absent from beer making.”
– Steve Mirsky

“There are spunky little angels at the top of a bottle of wine and fearless little devils in the bottom.”
– Terri Guillemets

“Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.”
– The Simpsons

“I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.”
– Thomas Jackson

“Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become.”
– Tom Ralphs

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.”
– Tom Waits. Man, he has a way with words.

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
– Unknown

“A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck.”
– Unknown

“Draft beer, not people.”
– Unknown

“Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.”
– Unknown

“If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.”
– Unknown

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