Drinking Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.”
– Unknown

“If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine.”
– Unknown

“I’ll stick with gin.  Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”
– Unknown

“It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.”
– Unknown

“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?”
– Unknown

“The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.”
– Unknown

“The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.”
– Unknown

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.” 
– Unknown

“You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.”
– Unknown

“Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.”
– Unknown

“Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.”
– Unknown

“I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it.”
– Unknown

“If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.”
– Unknown

“When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumbass.”
– Unknown

“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”
– Unknown

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” 
– W. C. Fields

“I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.”
– W.C. Fields

“Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy, I’ve done it a thousand times.”
– W.C. Fields

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”
– W.C. Fields

“I never eat breakfast on an empty stomach.”
– WC Fields

“The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.”
– William Butler Yeats

“Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.”
– William Shakespeare

“I would give all of my fame for a pot of ale and safety.”
– William Shakespeare

“O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!”
– William Shakespeare

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
– Winston Churchill

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