Funny 50th Birthday Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Want a good laugh about turning 50? Here is a collation of funny 50th birthday quotes and sayings to bring some humor to the occasion.

“I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming… suddenly you find – at the age of 50, say – that a whole new life has opened before you. ”
– Agatha Christie

“I’m sorry you are wiser,
And I’m sorry you are taller.
I liked you better foolish,
And I liked you better smaller.”
– Aline Kilmer

“Men who have reach and passed forty five have a look as if waiting for the secret of the other world, and as if they were perfectly sure of having found out the secret of this one.”
– Benjamin Haydon

“Gray hair is God‘s graffiti.”
– Bill Cosby

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year‘s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.”
– Bill Vaughan

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it’s up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.”
– Coco Chanel

“Except ye become as little children, except you can wake on your fiftieth birthday with the same forward-looking excitement and interest in life that you enjoyed when you were five, ‘ye cannot enter the kingdom of God’. One must not only die daily, but every day we must be born again.”
– Dorothy L. Sayers

“The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.”
– Doug Larson

“After a man is 50, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can’t fool him by saying he’s pretty.”
– E.W. House

“Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty.”
– Edward Hoagland

“The heyday of woman’s life is the shady side of fifty.”
– Elizabeth Cady Stanton

“At fifty the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won’t be imprisoned anymore.”
– Erica Jong

“Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.”
– Franklin Pierce Adams

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”
– French proverb

“At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”
– George Orwell

“At 21 you’re finally free to slam down the throttle and see how fast you can go. At 30 you realize, hey, this thing has a brake pedal too. By 40, that brake pedal is showing some serious wear. At 50, let’s face it, you need a brake job.”
– Greg Tamblyn

“Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with graphic details of your first colonoscopy.”
– Greg Tamblyn

“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes

“You take all of the experience and judgment of men over 50 out of the world and there wouldn’t be enough left to run it.”
– Henry Ford

“After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
– Henry Green

“When you are younger you are blamed for crimes you never committed, and when you’re older you get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.”
– I.F. Stone

“I’ll see a beautiful girl walking up to me and I’ll think, Oh, my God, I can’t believe my good luck. But then she’ll say, ‘Where’s your son?’ or ‘My mother loves you’.”
– James Caan

“I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.”
– Janet Periat

“There is a direct relationship between age and the amount of noise you make when getting up….If you sit too long, everything solidifies.”
– Janet Periat

“For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.”
– Jean Sorensen

“50 years: here’s a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren’t doing what you love, then what’s the point?”
– Jim Carrey

“Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”
– Joey Adams

“At 50, you probably get muddled?
I’m the same, that’s how I know?
If you ever get lost, don’t worry?
Just change where you want to go”
– Jon Bratton

“At 50 you now have realized
?Getting old isn’t fair?
And that it’s hard to make a comeback
?When you haven’t gone anywhere”
– Jon Bratton

“As it’s your 50th birthday
The very best of cheers to you
Truthfully, I’m just being selfish
Coz now I am so cheerful, too
Happy, Cheerful Birthday”
– Jon Bratton

“When you’re fifty, you start thinking about things you haven’t thought about before. I used to think that getting old was about vanity – but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial.”
– Joyce Carol Oates

“Fifty is a fabulously wonderful age. It is when your life actually becomes all about you. Plan the amazing years you have ahead of yourself. Have fun this birthday.”
– Kashmira Lad

“Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.”
– Kin Hubbard

“I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.”
– Lady Nancy Astor

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