Funny And Inspirational Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts. ”
– Unknown

“The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill. ”
– W. Celement Stone

“Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.”
– Ahmad

“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
– Tom Lehrer

“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever [s]he is.”
– C.S. Lewis

“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. ”
– Denis Waitley

“I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“If at first you don’t succeed, think how many people you’ve made happy.”
– H. Duane Black

“Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.”
– Sarah Henderson

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ”
– Woody Allen

“We don’t have to be defined by the things we did or didn’t do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it’s a regret, maybe it’s not. It’s merely something that happened. Get over it.”
– Pittacus Lore

“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”
– Mindy Kaling

“Words are wind”.
– George R.R. Martin

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
– Darynda Jones

“Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That’s when parents know the least and care the most, so they’re more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they’re right.”
– Orson Scott Card

“No matter where life takes me, you’ll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It’s got me cheesing from cheek to cheek!”
– Mac Miller

“More often than not, if a person is wearing a smile, there is a victim attached somewhere.”
– Donald Gorman

“Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers”
– Eoin Colfer

“I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.”
– Cassandra Duffy

“Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.”
– paula Wall

“When you have failed at being nice, you’ve actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it.”
– Katina Ferguson

“Dad, one of my first memories is of sharing my worry with you about the space shuttle poking holes in the atmosphere and letting out all of Earth‘s air.”
– Brent Weeks

“A cause may be inconvenient, but it’s magnificent. It’s like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.”
– Arnold Bennett

“I’m not mean, I just give people a good reason to hate me”
– Haresh Daswani

“If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn’t agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to ‘report’ to the powers that be.”
– Mark Alders

“That dude thought he was the shit so I punched him right square in his feelings”
– Lee T Gallup

“I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn’t make my situation any worse.”
– Jeff Somers

“Thank you very Much, I enjoyed myself”
– Richard P. Feynman

“I told a doctor once, “Doc, if you want to know what’s inside of me, put down the x-ray and pick up my novel!”
– Gerard de Marinny

“…it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity.”
– E.A. Bucchianeri

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