Funny Birthday Card Messages For Some Laughs

by allinspiration.com

One way to send happy birthday greetings or wishes is through the use of humor, and here are some funny card »”>birthday card messages and quotes you could consider including.

“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.”
– Anthony Powell

“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.”
– Brigitte Bardot

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”
– Charles Schultz

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”
– Chili Davis

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck

“If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.”
– Euripedes

“I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.”
– Eva Gabor

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.”
– Golda Meir

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”
– H. Prochnow

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”
– Herbert Asquith

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny

“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.”
– Jennifer Yane

“Looking fifty is great if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”
– Larry Lorenzoni

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”
– Leo Rosenberg

“There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents and only one for birthday presents, you know.”
– Lewis Carroll

“They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.”
– Malcolm Cowley

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”
– Mark Twain

“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.”
– R. C. Ferguson

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”
– Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

“Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.”
– Richard Armour

“Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.”
– Robert Frost

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost

“Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.”
– Robert Southey

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