Funny Birthday Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Want some birthday humor? Here are funny birthday quotes and sayings to give everyone some laughs.

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!”
– Allison

“At times is it seems that I am living my life backward, and that at the approach of old age my real youth will begin. My soul was born covered with wrinkles. Wrinkles my ancestors and parents most assiduously put there and that I had the greatest trouble removing.”
– Andre Gide

“Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.”
– Angela

“If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.”
– Anthony

“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.”
– Anthony Powell

“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.”
– Audrey Hepburn

“Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.”
– Awesomeee

“After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.”
– Bette Midler

“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
– Billie Burke

“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.”
– Brian Jones

“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.”
– Brigitte Bardot

“When you are over the hill you pick up speed!”
– Bruce K

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”
– Charles Schultz

“So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.”
– Claire

“You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo”
– Dana

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry

“The heyday of a woman’s life is the shady side of fifty.”
– Elizabeth Staton

“It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.”
– Ellen Glasgow

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck

“If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.”
– Euripedes

“I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.”
– Eva Gabor

“May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.”
– Frank Sinatra

“There must be a day or two in a man’s life when he is the precise age for something important.”
– Franklin Adams

“All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.”
– George Harrison

“About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.”
– Gloria Pitzer

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.”
– Golda Meir

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.”
– Gracie Allen

“Birthday is a salty word if you’re not a fan of cake and ice cream.”
– Greg Evans

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”
– H. Prochnow

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”
– Herbert Asquith

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny

“Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.”
– James Thurber

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