Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of funny fortune cookie sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy. Enjoy the humor and have a good laugh!

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A closed mouth gathers no feet.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind, and won’t change the subject.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A man with brown eyes has a surprise for you.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A recent prison escapee that is sitting nearby wants to love you long time.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A starship ride has been promised to you by the galactic wizard.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A telemarketer has just called you.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A tub and a rub will change your day.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Always go to other people‘s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Better to Press Shirt than Press Luck”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Borrow money from a pessimist — they don’t expect it back.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Come back later. I need a nap. Yes, fortune cookies sleep.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say: lovers in triangle not on square.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say you have heart as big as Texas.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say: Go to bed with itchy bum. Wake up with stinky finger!”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say: if you think you’re going to sum up your whole life on this little bit of paper, you’re crazy.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say Man who fart in church sit in own pew”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Confucius say, Tack in chair fun but screw in bed more fun.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. – Bill Cosby”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

“Disregard this cookie”
– Funny Fortune Cookie Saying

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