Funny Love Quotes And Sayings To Bring Laughter

by allinspiration.com

“To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”
– Bertrand Russell

“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”
– Bette Midler

“My wife said, ‘Can my mother come down for the weekend?’ So I said, ‘Why?’ And she said, ‘Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already.”
– Bob Monkhouse

“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”
– Brendan Francis

“Where would men be today if it weren’t for women? In the garden of Eden eating watermelon and taking it easy.”
– C. Kennedy

“My heart’s in the right place. I know, ‘cuz I hid it there.”
– Carrie Fisher

“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
– Cathy Carlyle

“Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.”
– Cecilia Egan

“I was married for two years, which is a long time if you break it down into half-hour segments.”
– Charisse Savarin

“That love at first sight should happen to me, was Life’s most delicious revenge on a self-opinionated fool.”
– Charles Boyer

“The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.”
– Charles Pierce

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
– Charles Schulz

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
– Charles Schulz

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.”
– Cher

“Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.”
– Cher

“Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.”
– Cole Porter

“The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”
– Coleridge

“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.”
– David Bissonette

“A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.”
– Don Fraser

“By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite, undying – Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.”
– Dorothy Parker

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.”
– Dorothy Parker

“I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.”
– Dudley Moore

“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.”
– Edgar Watson Howe

“You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.”
– Elayne Broosler

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
– Erich Segal

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
– Erma Bombeck

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”
– Florence Kennedy

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.”
– Folk Saying

“Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”
– Fran Lebowitz

“It is impossible to love and be wise.”
– Francis Bacon

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