Funny Love Quotes And Sayings To Bring Laughter

by allinspiration.com

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“Everything was going great until I said, ‘I love you,’ then he got this look on his face like he’d taken a wrong turn in a really bad neighbourhood.”
– Roz Doyle, Frasier

“All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.”
– Shelley Winters

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
– Steve Martin

“What female heart can despise gold?”
– Thomas Gray

“A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.”
– Thomas Hardy

“My wife’s nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don’t notice it any more.”
– Tom Arnold

“Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.”
– Tommy Dewar

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
– Unknown

“When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.”
– Unknown

“Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!”
– Unknown

“When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him”
– Unknown

“A wife is someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.”
– Unknown

“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella. You say that you love sun, but you find a shadow spot. You say that you love the wind but you close your windows. This is why I’m afraid, when you say that you love me too…”
– Unknown

“I don’t trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies.”
– Vincent Gallo

“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.”
– W. Somerset Maugham

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
– Walt Disney

“Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.”
– William Caxton

“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
– Woody Allen

“The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty…”
– Woody Allen

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
– Woody Allen

“The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!”
– Woody Allen

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.”
– Woody Allen, Love And Death

“Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.”
– Yiddish Proverb

“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

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