Funny Movie Sayings And Humorous Film Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“Men should be like Kleenex- soft, strong and disposable.”
– Clue / Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn)

“That’s bee-YOU-tee-ful, what is that, velvet?”
– Coming to America

“You call that a knife? That’s not a knife. This is a knife.”
– Crocodile Dundee / Michael Crocodile Dundee (Paul Hogan)

“Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker.”
– Death to Smoochy / Rainbow Randolph

“Yippe-ki-yi-yay, Motherfucker.”
– Die Hard / John McClane (Bruce Willis)

“Dude, I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucking pube-less asses.”
– Dogma / Jason Mewes

“So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast ‘em in the ass?”
– Dogma / Jay

“I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
– Duck Soup / Rufus T. Firefly

“Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”
– Dumb & Dumber / Harry Dunne

“E.T. phone home.”
– E.T. / E.T. (Pat Walsh)

“You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.”
– Every Day’s a Holiday / Larmadou Graves (Charles Butterworth)

“Drive carefully. And don’t forget to fasten your condoms! …Seatbelts, I mean seatbelts.”
– Father of the Bride / George Banks

“You can’t respect someone who kisses your ass. I just doesn’t work.”
– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off / Ferris Bueller (Mathew Broderick)

“A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.”
– Fight Club / Marla Singer

“I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be MY Squishy.”
– Finding Nemo

“My family knows ever’thing there is to know ’bout the shrimpin’ bidness, Bubba Blue.”
– Forrest Gump

“It’s Alive! It’s Alive!”
– Frankenstein / Dr. Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive)

“Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT!! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!!”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“Bullshit I can’t hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister.”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass, and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around.”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“That’s enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?”
– Full Metal Jacket / Gny. Sgt. Hartman

“So let me get this straight. You broke in again to apologize for breaking in yesterday.”
– Get Shorty / Karen Flores (Rene Russo)

“Back off, man. I’m a scientist, Peter Venkmen.”
– Ghostbusters

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
– Gone With the Wind / Rhett Butler (Clark Gable)

“I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?”
– Grosse Pointe Blank

“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
– Happy Gilmore

“I love my dead gay son.”
– Heathers

“Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.”
– High Anxiety

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