Funny Quotes From Anonymous Sources

by allinspiration.com

“Genius without education is like silver in the mine.”
– Anonymous

“The luck of having talent is not enough; one must also have a talent for luck.”
– Anonymous

“The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the lesson is, don’t worry about ghosts and the stock market and you will be fine.”
– Anonymous

“Camping is nature‘s way of promoting the motel business.”
– Anonymous

“If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.”
– Anonymous

“Gasoline is getting more expensive because transporting it costs more when it gets more expensive.”
– Anonymous

“The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.”
– Anonymous

“When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.”
– Anonymous

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– Anonymous

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
– Anonymous

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice’ ?”
– Anonymous

“If what you’ve done is stupid but it works, then it really isn’t that stupid at all.”
– Anonymous

“He’s so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.”
– Anonymous

“Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.”
– Anonymous

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
– Anonymous

“Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.”
– Anonymous

“Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.”
– Anonymous

“Some people go to the office in a Hyundai, some in a Ferrari, my office *is* a Boeing 747. ”
– Anonymous

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing”
– Anonymous

“The best revenge is massive success”
– Anonymous

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”
– Anonymous

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”
– Anonymous

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”
– Anonymous

“It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.”
– Anonymous

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
– Anonymous

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.”
– Anonymous

“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.”
– Anonymous

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”
– Anonymous

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
– Anonymous

“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.”
– Anonymous

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