Funny Quotes From Anonymous Sources

by allinspiration.com

“I love mankind, it’s people I can’t stand.”
– Anonymous

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
– Anonymous

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
– Anonymous

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
– Anonymous

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
– Anonymous

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
– Anonymous

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
– Anonymous

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
– Anonymous

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
– Anonymous

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
– Anonymous

“Saying ‘I notice you’re a nerd’ is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?’ In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even ‘lame’ is kind of lame. Saying ‘You’re lame’ is like saying ‘You walk with a limp.’ Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he’s done all right for himself.”
– Anonymous

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.”
– Anonymous

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
– Anonymous

“Ever notice how ‘What the hell’ is always the right answer?”
– Anonymous

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.”
– Anonymous

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
– Anonymous

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
– Anonymous

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
– Anonymous

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer”
– Anonymous

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
– Anonymous

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
– Anonymous

“Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.”
– Anonymous

“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
– Anonymous

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun‘.”
– Anonymous

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
– Anonymous

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”
– Anonymous

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
– Anonymous

“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
– Anonymous

“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
– Anonymous

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colin.” Need I say more?”
– Anonymous

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