Funny T Shirt Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“You’re never too old to learn something stupid.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A little boy asked his father, Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? Father replied, I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Worrying works! % of the things I worry about never happen.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and for Miss America?”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“When in doubt, mumble.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, I’m going to mop the floor with your face. I said, You’ll be sorry. He said, Oh, yeah? Why? I said, Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Hallmark Card: I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Whoever coined the phrase Quiet as a mouse has never stepped on one.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

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