Funny Teacher Retirement Jokes

by allinspiration.com

“Those who can – do. Those who can’t – teach.”
– H. L. Mencken

”Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.”
– Harry Emerson Fosdick

”A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”
– Henry Adams

”Age doesn’t matter, unless you are cheese.”
– J. Paul Getty

“The two most dangerous years of your life are the year you are born and the year you retire.”
– Liz Davidson

“There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.”
– Lola May

”The greatest sign of success for a teacher… is to be able to say, The children are now working as if I did not exist.””
– Maria Montessori

”My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.”
– Patty Doyle

“I used to have dreams that I died at my desk. Now that I’ve retired, I don’t have those dreams anymore.”
– Unknown

“In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.”
– Unknown

“Never ask old people how they are if you have anything to do that day.”
– Unknown

“One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.”
– Unknown

“Retirement is like being out of school for the summer but the summer never ends.”
– Unknown

“Teacher’s Retirement Motto: I Used to Teach. Now I Have No Class.”
– Unknown

“The trouble with retirement is you never get a day off.”
– Unknown

“Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.”
– Unknown

”For those of you who don’t know what to do after retirement, the answer is simple: whatever you want.”
– Unknown

”I am done!! Enough!! Whooooooooooooo!!”
– Unknown

”I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension.”
– Unknown

”Retirement is a way of saying I’m outta here, have fun working while I have a nice long vacation.”
– Unknown

”Retirement: a brand new beginning! How wonderful!”
– Unknown

”Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.”
– Unknown

”So what is my profession now? Nomad! Yeh has a nice ring to it!”
– Unknown

”Work is Crazy!! Time to Retire!!”
– Unknown

“A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.”
– W.H. Auden

“The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post.”
– William Lyon Phelps

“Retirement itself is the best [retirement] gift. No gold watch could ever top it.”
– Abigail Charleson

“The best retirement for workaholics is no retirement at all.”
– Anonymous

“Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.”
– Anonymous

“Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”
– Betty White

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