Funny Tombstone Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of funny tombstone sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy, and to have a good laugh.

“Gone away, Owin’ more than he could pay.”
– Funny Tombstone Saying

“My Jesus Mercy”
– Al Capone

“My closest friend, who died not long ago, is buried near Marx’s grave in Highgate cemetery, so I see the gaggle of admirers laying roses at the foot of his tombstone regularly. I have never been tempted to leave flowers there myself. Great theories, shame about the practice. Marx did many things. But inventing class was not one of them.”
– Alastair Campbell

“A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough”
– Alexander the Great

“Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself.”
– Andrew Carnegie

“I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say figment.”
– Andy Warhol

“I never understood why when you died, you didn’t just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn’t be there. I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say ‘figment.’”
– Andy Warhol

“I did not want my tombstone to read, ‘She kept a really clean house.’ I think I’d like them to remember me by saying, ‘She opened government to everyone.”‘
– Ann Richards

“But slow on the draw.”
– Arizona Tombstone

“Raised his hair”
– Arizona Tombstone

“Memory, in widow’s weeds, with naked feet stands on a tombstone.”
– Aubrey de Vere

“The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer (like the cover of an old book, its contents worn out, and stript of its lettering and gilding) lies here, food for worms. Yet the work itself shall not lost, for it will, as he believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful edition, corrected and amended by its Author”
– Benjamin Franklin

“SHE DID IT THE HARD WAY”
– Bette Davis

“Live so that when the final summons comes you will leave something more behind you than an epitaph on a tombstone or an obituary in a newspaper.”
– Billy Sunday

“As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, So this old world is made brighter by the lives Of folks like you.”
– Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde)

“Just such a fool as you.”
– Carolina Tombstone

“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.”
– Charles Spurgeon

“Fame – a few words upon a tombstone, and the truth of those not to be depended on.”
– Christian Nestell Bovee

“Was hanged by mistake.”
– Colorado Tombstone

“That’s the one for my tombstone… Here lies David Byrne. Why the big suit?”
– David Byrne

“EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME”
– Dean Martin

“John Brown is filling his last cavity.”
– Dentist’s Tombstone

“When I go, if there’s a tombstone it will say, She doesn’t give in. She doesn’t give up. And she never takes no for an answer.”
– Doris Roberts

“I’ve finally gotten to the bottom of things.”
– Dorothy Parker

“On my tombstone just write, ‘The sorest loser that ever lived.”‘
– Earl Weaver

“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”
– Eartha Kitt

“Dear God: Thanks”
– Ed Wynn

“Nevermore.”
– Edgar Allan Poe

“Called Back”
– Emily Dickinson

“And away she went”
– England Tombstone

“The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”
– England Tombstone

“Left love behind many years ago. Now it rests under a cross in the cemetery in Tombstone.”
– Franco Nero

“THE BEST IS YET TO COME”
– Frank Sinatra

“He lived
And died
By suicide
A Finished Artist”
– Funny Tombstone Saying

“Here lies the body of
Detlof Swenson.
Waiter.
God finally caught his eye.”
– Funny Tombstone Saying

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