Funny Tombstone Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“LOOKING INTO THE PORTALS OF ETERNITY TEACHES THAT THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN IS INSPIRED BY GOD‘S WORD; THEN ALL PREJUDICE OF RACE VANISHES AWAY.”
– George Washington

“I told you that I was sick!”
– Georgia Cemetary

“Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.”
– Groucho Marx

“He thinketh no evil”
– Henry Ward Beecher

“For I go to do nothing forever and ever!”
– Housewife tombstone

“Nature and Nature’s laws lay hid in night: God said, ‘Let Newton be!’ and all was light.”
– Isaac Newton

“A GENTLE MAN AND A GENTLEMAN”
– Jack Dempsey

“The Stone the Builders Rejected”
– Jack London

“And away we go”
– Jackie Gleason

“WE LIVE TO LOVE YOU MORE EACH DAY”
– Jayne Mansfield

“If the Confederacy fails, there should be written on its tombstone: Died of a Theory.”
– Jefferson Davis

“NAME IS NOT WORTHY TO APPEAR HERE”
– Jesse James

“This is the last of Earth! I am content!”
– John Quincy Adams

“…and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make”
– John Ritter

“Unmarked for 20 years and now reads: Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”
– John Wayne

“We made the mistake, But the joke‘s on him.”
– Kansas Tombstone

“A star on earth – a star in heaven”
– Karen Carpenter

“I used to want the words She tried on my tombstone. Now I want She did it.”
– Katherine Dunham

“I don’t want my tombstone to say actress. I want it to say human being.”
– Laurie Holden

“Well, I’ve played everything but a harp.”
– Lionel Barrymore

“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?”
– Margaret Smith

“The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.”
– Mary Wilson Little

“And no place to go.”
– Maryland Tombstone

“Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod; Pease shelled out and went to God.”
– Massachusetts Tombstone

“I’ve always felt that, when I looked at my tombstone, it shouldn’t say, ‘Mehmet Oz banged out 10,000 open-heart operations.’ I’ve probably done 5,000. Am I any better at it than 10,000? He shook his head. It’s just a different number on the tombstone.”
– Mehmet Oz

“I will not be back after these messages”
– Merv Griffin

“Pardon me For not rising.”
– New Mexico tombstone

“Now I ain’t again.”
– Ohio Tombstone

“Hooray my brave boys
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all.”
– On a Gravedigger

“Alien tears will fill for him; Pity’s long-broken ern. For his mourners will be outcast men, And outcasts always mourn.”
– Oscar Wilde‘s Tombstone

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