Golf Sayings – Funny Or Inspiring Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“The worst club in my bag is my brain.”
– Chris Perry

“In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It’s a big difference.”
– Dan Quayle

“I don’t like watching golf on TV. I can’t stand whispering.”
– David Brenner

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
– Dean Martin

“One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.”
– Don Carter

“All I’ve got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse.”
– Eric Linklater

“The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.”
– G.K. Chesterton

“They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.”
– Gardner Dickinson

“One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.”
– George Archer

“Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?”
– George Archer

“I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.”
– Gerald Ford

“I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.”
– Gerald Ford

“Even God has to practice his putting.”
– Golf Saying

“Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.”
– Grantland Rice

“Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s.”
– Grantland Rice

“You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.”
– Grantland Rice

“The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.”
– H.G. Wells

“If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.”
– H.L. Mencken

“[T]o play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.”
– H.S. Scrivener

“It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”
– Hank Aaron

“Golf is not just an exercise; it’s an adventure, a romance… a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined.”
– Harold Segall

“I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.”
– Harry Toscano

“If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.”
– Harry Vardon

“Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks – No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard’s excellent Tennis for Beginners.”
– Henry Beard

“Play it as it lies is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is “Wear it if it clashes.”"
– Henry Beard

“Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.”
– Heywood Hale Broun

“Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.”
– Homero Blancas

“If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.”
– Horace G. Hutchinson

“Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.”
– Huxtable Pippey

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