Golf Sayings – Funny Or Inspiring Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“His driving is unbelievable. I don’t go that far on my holidays.”
– Ian Baker-Finch

“It’s so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.”
– J.C. Snead

“Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.”
– Jack Benny

“The average golfer doesn’t play golf. He attacks it.”
– Jack Burke

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
– Jack Lemmon

“Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.”
– Jack Nicklaus

“Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel.”"
– Jeff Cesario

“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.”
– Jim Bishop

“I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it.”
– Jim Dent

“Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.”
– Jim Murray

“Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it’s unfair. It’s a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises…. It’s a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher.”
– Jim Murray

“Golf is not a game, it’s bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.”
– Jim Murray

“Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine.”
– Jim Murray

“I play in the low 80s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.”
– Joe E. Lewis

“If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.”
– Joey Adams

“Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”
– John Updike

“The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.”
– John Updike

“In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.”
– Ken Harrelson

“Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.”
– Ken Venturi

“If I can hit a curveball, why can’t I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?”
– Larry Nelson

“Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.”
– Lee Trevino

“If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”
– Lee Trevino

“My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.”
– Lee Trevino

“One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.”
– Lee Trevino

“There are two things you can do with your head down – play golf and pray.”
– Lee Trevino

“I’m a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn’t help me. They’d have to put me in prison, and then I’d talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.”
– Lee Trevino

“That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle.”
– Lloyd Mangrum

“Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it. Then you hit it again.”
– Lon Hinkle

“A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole.”
– Mac O’Grady

“When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It’s left my memory circuits full of scars that won’t heal.”
– Mac O’Grady

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Follow this site