Golf Sayings – Funny Or Inspiring Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“When you hear someone shout “You da man,” if he ain’t shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain’t da man.”
– Ron Green

“Forget your opponents; always play against par.”
– Sam Snead

“If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.”
– Sam Snead

“These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”
– Sam Snead

“But you don’t have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.”
– Sam Snead

“You can’t call it a sport. You don’t run, jump, you don’t shoot, you don’t pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don’t match.”
– Steve Sax

“Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.”
– Ted Ray

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
– Tiger Woods

“Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.”
– Tommy Armour

“They throw their clubs backwards, and that’s wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.”
– Tommy Bolt

“Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.”
– Unknown

“A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.”
– Unknown

“The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.”
– Unknown

“When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.”
– Unknown

“Golf is life. If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life.”
– Unknown

“I’ve spent most of my life golfing – the rest I’ve just wasted.”
– Unknown

“The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.”
– Unknown

“A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.”
– Unknown

“Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.”
– Unknown

“To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.”
– Unknown

“Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her.”
– Val Doonican

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.”
– Will Rogers

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”
– Will Rogers

“Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.”
– William Wordsworth

“[Golf] is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.”
– Winston Churchill

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