Mark Twain Quotations And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I cant conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
– Mark Twain

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
– Mark Twain

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
– Mark Twain

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
– Mark Twain

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
– Mark Twain

“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
– Mark Twain

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”
– Mark Twain

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
– Mark Twain

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
– Mark Twain

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
– Mark Twain

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
– Mark Twain

“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
– Mark Twain

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
– Mark Twain

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”
– Mark Twain

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
– Mark Twain

“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”
– Mark Twain

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
– Mark Twain

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
– Mark Twain

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apples sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
– Mark Twain

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
– Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
– Mark Twain

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
– Mark Twain

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
– Mark Twain

“After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.”
– Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
– Mark Twain

“You cant depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
– Mark Twain

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
– Mark Twain

“The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”
– Mark Twain

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”
– Mark Twain

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