More Cute Funny Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

Here is another collation of cute funny sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ”
– A. Whitney Brown

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. ”
– Albert Einstein

“If you can’t fix it with duck tape you haven’t used enough.”
– Anonymous

“All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.”
– Anonymous

“Constipated People Don’t Give A crap.”
– Anonymous

“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.”
– Anonymous

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Anonymous

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”
– Anonymous

“There Are Three Kinds of People – Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can’t”
– Anonymous

“Do you know why they call it ‘PMS’? Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken.”
– Anonymous

“I have a love interest in every one of my films – a gun.”
– Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.”
– Benny Hill

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
– Bill Cosby

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
– Bill Cosby

“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.”
– Bill Cosby

“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”
– Bill Vaughan

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ”
– Bill Watterson

“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
– Bob Hope

“I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.”
– Bob Hope

“Love makes the world go round!”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“It’s not summer if your tongue isn’t purple.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“I have a hammer. I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it’s great to be male!”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“This food is allergic to me.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin says to Hobbes, “I’ve noticed that when we play games with girls you get captured a lot.” Hobbes replies, “Some of us are just irresistible.”"
– Calvin and Hobbes

“To make a bad day worse spend it wishing for the impossible”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Childhood is short, maturity is forever.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Hobbes: “Do you think there is a God?” Calvin: “Well, somebody’s out to get me.”"
– Calvin and Hobbes

“The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take milk for example. Why do we drink COW milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said. “I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze ‘em!”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Aaugh! It’s a half-hour later than it was half an hour ago! Run! Run!”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“Work fascinates me, I can watch it for hours.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

“I’ve got plenty of common sense…. I just choose to ignore it.”
– Calvin and Hobbes

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Follow this site