More Funny Birthday Sayings To Bring Humor

by allinspiration.com

Here is another collation of funny birthday sayings and quotations to bring some humor and laughter to everyone, including the birthday boy or girl.

“I occasionally get card »”>birthday cards from fans. But it’s often the same message: They hope it’s my last.”
– Al Forman

“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized
for a crime you have not committed. ”
– Anthony Powell

“You know you’re getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them.”
– Arnold Palmer

“To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
– Bernard Baruch

“Getting old ain’t for sissies.”
– Bette Davis

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.”
– Bette Midler

“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
– Billie Burke

“When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like you parents.”
– Blair Sabol

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.”
– Bob Hope

“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.”
– Bob Hope

“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?”
– Bobby Kelton

“Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.”
– Booth Tarkington

“First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.”
– Branch Rickey

“Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”
– C.E.M. Joad

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head
together and your body starts falling apart.”
– Caryn Leschen

“The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.”
– Chinese Proverb

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas’.”
– Claude D. Pepper

“Inside every older person is a younger person -
wondering what the hell happened. ”
– Cora Harvey Armstrong

“Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.”
– Dan Bennett

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

“We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.”
– Dave Allen

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry

“Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.”
– Don Marquis

“The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.”
– Doris Day

“The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.”
– Doug Larson

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”
– Doug Larson

“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.”
– Edward Morykwas

“Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.”
– Eli Cass

“It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.”
– Ellen Glasgow

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck

“If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.”
– Euripides

“You’ve heard of the three ages of man – By youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.”
– Francis Cardinal Spellman

“Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example.”
– Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.”
– George Chapman

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