More Funny Birthday Sayings To Bring Humor

by allinspiration.com

“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.”
– George Harrison

“Oh to be seventy again. ”
– Georges Clemenceau

“When I was little I thought, isn’t it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it’s July 4th.”
– Gloria Stuart

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
– Groucho Marx

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.”
– Groucho Marx

“I have everything now I had twenty years ago except now it’s all lower.”
– Gypsy Rose Lee

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. ”
– H.V. Prochnow

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
– Harry Hershfield

“The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
– Henry L. Mencken

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”
– Herbert Asquith

“May you live to be a hundred years. With one extra year to repent. ”
– Irish Proverb

“Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.”
– J.P. Sears

“A man is old when he can pass an apple orchard and not remember the stomachache.”
– James Russell Lowell

“Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty.”
– James Thurber

“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.”
– Jennifer Yane

“The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”
– Jerry M. Wright

“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it’s not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.”
– Joel Hildebrand

“A man is not old until his regrets take the place of dreams.”
– John Barrymore

“To me – old age is always ten years older than I am.”
– John Burroughs

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?”
– John Heywood

“There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.”
– John Mortimer

“You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.”
– John P. Grier

“The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn’t have when you were young you no longer want.”
– L.S. McCandless

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”
– Larry Lorenzoni

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”
– Leo Rosenberg

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.”
– Malcolm Cowley

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