More Funny Christmas Sayings And Quotations

by allinspiration.com

Need more words to provide some laughter for the season? Here are more funny Christmas sayings and quotes to supply the holiday humor.

“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.”
– Alexander Smith

“Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.”
– Anonymous

“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”
– Anonymous

“Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”
– Anonymous

“The best gifts in life will never be found under a Christmas tree! Those gifts are friends, family, kids and the one you love!”
– Anonymous

“Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.”
– Anonymous

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”
– Anonymous

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!’
Roses are reddish. Violets are bluish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we’d all be Jewish.”
– Benny Hill

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on Christmas Eve. Old age is when you’re forced to.”
– Bill Vaughn

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”
– Burton Hillis

“Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age.”
– Carrie Latet

“I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to pick it up throughout the year.”
– Charles Dickens

“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”
– Charles Schulz

“Do they still make wooden Christmas trees?”
– Charles Schulz

“Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?”
– Charlie Brown

“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner.”
– Colette

“I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, So does the guy I stole it from.”
– David Letterman

“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
– Dennis Miller

“If ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a Merry Christmas?”
– Don Meredith

“Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
– Dr. Seuss

“From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.”
– Emily Matthews

“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; it makes no noise at all, but softly gives itself away; while quite unselfish, it grows small.”
– Eva K. Logue

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”
– Frank Mckinney Hubbard

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.”
– Harlan Miller

“Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.”
– Harlan Miller

“The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart.”
– Helen Keller

“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.”
– Janice Maeditere

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
– Jay Leno

“I’m not your parent. I simply love you so much that I want to treat you like my baby kid and make everyday a special Christmas for you.”
– Kurt Avish

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”
– Norman Vincent Peale

“Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!”
– Ogden Nash

“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.”
– Oren Arnold

“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.”
– P. J. O’Rourke

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.”
– Peg Bracken

“Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.”
– Richard Lamm

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