More Funny Christmas Sayings And Quotations

by allinspiration.com

“If you wake up tomorrow morning and find no gifts from Santa, do not assume that he fails to exist. In fact that shall truly prove Santa’s existence, because I have wished for your wishlist as my gift. Merry Christmas.”
– Unknown

“If you’re not under my tree on Christmas morning, I’m going back to bed!”
– Unknown

“If you’re sad about being single this Christmas holiday season, remember that even Kim Kardashian is unmarried 293 days a year.”
– Unknown

“I’m dreaming of a Christmas as white but not nearly as depressing as the Republican party.”
– Unknown

“I’m flattered you actually think I can afford the things on your holiday wish list.”
– Unknown

“I’ve put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.”
– Unknown

“Just like, what is sin without penance,
What is Christmas without presents!
May you receive loads of them.
Merry Christmas and a fun-filled New Year.”
– Unknown

“Let’s give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling.”
– Unknown

“Let’s hope the kids are stupid enough to believe Santa bought them this year’s budget-conscious, crappy gifts.”
– Unknown

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
– Unknown

“Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.’ What denomination?’ asked the clerk. ‘Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?’ said Maria, ‘Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please’.”
– Unknown

“May all the stars descend from heaven into your home. Here’s wishing you a joyous Christmas. Merry Christmas and a Happy New year!”
– Unknown

“May all your dreams come true, this Christmas. May Santa Claus bring joy and luck to you.”
– Unknown

“May I give a beautiful word on this holiday occasion. The Christmas was only the first one, rest are just the anniversaries that follow. Merry Christmas!”
– Unknown

“May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones!”
– Unknown

“May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong Il.”
– Unknown

“May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don’t bring up your school‘s horrifying pedophiliac sex scandal.”
– Unknown

“Merry Christmas to someone who’d care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton’s uterus.”
– Unknown

“My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season.”
– Unknown

“Need to make Christmas purchases in crowded stores, causing Santa claustrophobia.”
– Unknown

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”
– Unknown

“Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.”
– Unknown

“On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I’m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won’t stop inboxing meeee!”
– Unknown

“People that buys the football tickets for three months in advance and waiting with the Christmas shopping until Christmas Eve.”
– Unknown

“Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.”
– Unknown

“Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.”
– Unknown

“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”
– Unknown

“Thanks for agreeing not to buy each other anything for Christmas and then making me feel guilty by buying something anyway.”
– Unknown

“The days of good people are here, all of us shall enjoy this beautiful occasion of Christmas. The candies, candles and light, will bring us all the joy and delight. But the sad part, not for us but you, that you can not enjoy this wonderful holiday season. Because, just as I said in the beginning, that the days of GOOD people are here. But anyways Merry Christmas. Try and have fun, if you can.”
– Unknown

“The goose to the priest: Father, please tell me the truth, is there a life after Christmas?”
– Unknown

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