More Funny Christmas Sayings And Quotations

by allinspiration.com

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
– Unknown

“The market was very quiet as most investors did not want to take a significant position before the Christmas holidays.”
– Unknown

“The most difficult task of the father for Christmas: ‘make the children understand that he is Santa Claus, and give the woman realized that he is not.”
– Unknown

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
– Unknown

“The quality of your Christmas gifts makes me wish Santa was real.”
– Unknown

“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.”
– Unknown

“There has been only one Christmas the rest are anniversaries.”
– Unknown

“There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.”
– Unknown

“There’s no limit to the amount of company time I’d waste shopping for your holiday gift.”
– Unknown

“This Christmas I’ve decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket….so all the people I don’t like can kiss my ass.”
– Unknown

“This Christmas, may Santa shower you with loads of joy, happiness and gifts. Merry Christmas.”
– Unknown

“This is my favorite time of year to be childless.”
– Unknown

“This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.”
– Unknown

“This year, I’m going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike…Made for kids by kids.”
– Unknown

“We want to wish you a saint festivals of beauty, the fairest, the best of the good!”
– Unknown

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
– Unknown

“When Christmas bells are ringing, the devil himself is mild.”
– Unknown

“When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!”
– Unknown

“Whether you’re offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don’t really mean either.”
– Unknown

“You know you’ve grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.”
– Unknown

“You remind me of Santa in that you work about one day a year and spend the other 364 days judging.”
– Unknown

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
– Victor Borge

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”
– W.C. Fields

“Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving yearband yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.”
– W.J. Cameron

“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.”
– W.T. Ellis

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