More Funny Inspirational Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Here is another collation of funny inspirational quotes and sayings from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“A man’s respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.”
– Adam Clayton Jr. Powell

“Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.”
– Adrian Mitchell

“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
– Agatha Christie

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
– Alan Dundes

“When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute — then it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.”
– Albert Einstein

“The most important thing is not to stop questioning.”
– Albert Einstein

“Only the most foolish of mice would hide in a cats ear but only the wisest of cats would think to look there.”
– Andrew Mercer

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”
– Anita Roddick

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”
– Anne Spencer Morrow Lindbergh

“Hope is the dream of the waking man.”
– Aristotle

“Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.”
– Bertrand Russell

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.”
– Beverly Nichols

“There are people who don’t like capitalism, and there are people who don’t like PCs, but there’s no one who likes the PC who doesn’t like Microsoft.”
– Bill Gates

“You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can’t sit on it for long.”
– Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin

“I’m an idealist I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.”
– Carl Sanburg

“You have to master not only the art of listening to your head, you must also master listening to your heart and listening to your gut.”
– Carly Fiorina

“How can you govern a country which has varieties of cheese?”
– Charles de Gaulle

“When I want to know what France thinks, I ask myself.”
– Charles de Gaulle

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just have one thing to say to the authors of that study: Duh.”
– Conan O’Brien

“Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.”
– Dan McKinnon

“It’s hard to take over the world when you sleep hours a day.”
– Darby Conley

“Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
– Dave Barry

“People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.”
– David H. Comins

“Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.”
– Dodie Smith

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
– Douglas Adams

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
– Edgar Bergen

“People always ask me, “Were you funny as a child?” Well, no, I was an accountant.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“An empty head is not really empty; it is stuffed with rubbish. Hence the difficulty of forcing anything into an empty head.”
– Eric Hoffer

“Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you’ll be surprised at how little you have.”
– Ernest Haskins

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.”
– Ethel Barrymore

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
– Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes

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