Random Quotes And Sayings On Various Topics

by allinspiration.com

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”
– Frank Sinatra

“My folks first met on the subway trying to pick each others pockets.”
– Freddie Prinze

“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.”
– Galileo

“After making love I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?” And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”"
– Gary Shandling

“I have opinions of my own— strong opinions— but I don’t always agree with them.”
– George Bush I

“Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!”
– Golda Meir

“There is no place for devastating remarks in teacher-child communications. A teacher’s role is to heal, not to injure.”
– Haim Ginott

“Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life”
– Harvey Mackay

“Strategy is better than strength.”
– Hausa proverb

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
– Henny Youngman

“I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.”
– Henny Youngman

“Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.”
– Henny Youngman

“I’ve been married for 34 years, and I’m still in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me.”
– Henny Youngman

“here are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.”
– Henry Kissenger

“Whenever you point your finger at someone, you have three pointed at yourself.”
– Hindu proverb

“I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.”
– Ilie Nastase

“Style distinguishes excellence from accomplishment.”
– J. Coplien

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”
– Jackie Mason

“You can fool too many people too much of the time.”
– James Thurber

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
– Jay Leno

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
– Jay Leno

“A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that’s why we can’t get anything done in the morning: We’re government workers!”
– Jay Leno

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
– Jay Leno

“We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like.”
– Jean Cocteau

“Pay no attention to what critics say; there has never been a statue erected to a critic.”
– Jean Sibelius

“Definition of a hermaphrodite: a bisexual built for two.”
– Jeff Daiell

“The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
– Jeff Foxworthy

“I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.”
– Jerry Garcia

“My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines”
– Joan Rivers

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