Random Quotes And Sayings On Various Topics

by allinspiration.com

“Each time you toss out a “singing” greeting card, you are disposing of more computing power than existed in the entire world before 1950.”
– Paul Saffo

“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.”
– Paula Poundstone

If you don’t like the emotional experience you’re having, change your mind”
– Peter Russel

“The penalty that good men pay for not being interested in politics is to be governed by men worse than themselves.”
– Plato

“Where the mind goes, the behind follows.”
– Randolph Wilkerson

“The Pen is mightier than the Sword.
The Court is mightier than the Pen.
The Sword is mightier than the Court.”
– Rey Barry

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
– Richard Jeni

“I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’”
– Richard Jeni

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.”
– Richard Lewis

“You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don’t think there’s really any oxygen. I think they’re just to muffle the screams.”
– Rita Rudner

“When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
– Rita Rudner

“Describing Palm Beach: “A lot of rich women seeing how small they can get their dogs”
– Rita Rudner

“What would you attempt to do if you Knew you would not fail?”
– Robert Schuller

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture”
– Robin Williams

“If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”
– Robin Williams

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
– Robin Williams

“My God. We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.”
– Robin Williams

“It’s great that we’ve got a compassionate conservative, but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.”
– Robin Williams

“Ever notice that George Bush doesn’t speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water? Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?”
– Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
– Roseanne

“To live is like to love – all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct is for it.”
– Samuel Butler

“Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined”
– Samuel Goldwyn

“Life admits not of delays; when pleasure can be had, it is fit to catch it. Every hour takes away part of the things that please us, and perhaps part of our disposition to be pleased.”
– Samuel Johnson

“Life is like Stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink”
– Suzuki Roshi

“Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men.”
– Sydney J. Harris

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
– Sylvie Malich

“Gosh, math is hard!”
– Talking Barbie

“There’s a lot of uncertainty that’s not clear in my mind.”
– Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

“All I ask of my body is that it carry around my head.”
– Thomas Alva Edison

“And life itself confided this secret to me: ‘Behold, it said, ‘I am that which must always overcome itself. Indeed, you call it a will to procreate or a drive to an end, to something higher, farther, more manifold….”
– Thus Spake Zarathustra II 12

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