Retirement Teacher Humor For A Good Laugh

by allinspiration.com

Here are some pieces of retirement teacher humor to spread some laughter and give everyone a funny good time.

“The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple.”
– A. Bronson Alcott

“After all manner of professors have done their best for us, the place we are to get knowledge is in books. The true university of these days is a collection of books.”
– Albert Camus

“It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.”
– Albert Einstein

“I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.”
– Alexander the Great

“The test of a good teacher is not how many questions he can ask his pupils that they will answer readily, but how many questions he inspires them to ask him which he finds it hard to answer. ”
– Alice Rollins

“There is no real teacher who in practise does not believe in the existence of the soul, or in a magic that acts on it through speech.”
– Allan Bloom

“The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple. ”
– Amos Bronson Alcott

“A true teacher defends his students against his own personal influences.”
– Amos Bronson Alcott

“The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.”
– Anatole France

“Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.”
– Andy Rooney

“The best teacher lodges an intent not in the mind but in the heart. ”
– Anne Michaels

“The one exclusive sign of thorough knowledge is the power of teaching.”
– Aristotle

“Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.”
– B. F. Skinner

“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. ”
– Barnett Cocks

“When teachers themselves are taught to learn.”
– Bertolt Brecht

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. ”
– Bible, Proverbs 6:22

“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.”
– Bill Cosby

“If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.”
– Bill Gates

“Only one person in a million becomes enlightened without a teacher’s help.”
– Bodhidharma

“A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instill a love of learning.”
– Brad Henry

“One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.”
– Carl Jung

“Those who have no record of what their forebears have accomplished lose the inspiration which comes from the teaching of biography and history.”
– Carter G. Woodson

“Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.”
– Charles Baxter

“Teaching is the greatest act of optimism. ”
– Colleen Wilcox

“If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.”
– Confucius

“The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called ‘truth‘.”
– Dan Rather

“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ”
– Danny McGorty

“George Burns said, “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.” The same applies to a teacher retirement speech.”
– Dave Erhard

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”
– Denis Waitley

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”
– Derrek Bok

“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
– Dr. Seuss

“Educate men without religion and you make them clever devils. ”
– Duke of Wellington

“Woody Allen ”
– Education, School, Terrible

“A school should not be a preparation for life. A school should be life.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“A teacher is one who makes two ideas grow where only one grew before. ”
– Elbert Hubbard

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