Retirement Teacher Humor For A Good Laugh

by allinspiration.com

“Don’t try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers too, have failed.”
– Marva Collins

“Just because somebody drops in on you from another dimension, don’t assume they’re wiser than you about anything at all, or that they can do anything better than you can do yourself. Discarnate or mortal, what matters about people is what they know.”
– Messiah’s Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul

“A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. ”
– Montaigne

“Study how water flows in a valley stream, smoothly and freely between the rocks. Also learn from holy books and wise people. Everything – even mountains, rivers, plants and trees – should be your teacher.”
– Morihei Ueshiba

“There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side. ”
– Oscar Levant

” I am not young enough to know everything. ”
– Oscar Wilde

“Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.”
– P. J. O’Rourke

“A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though awakens your own expectations. ”
– Patricia Neal

“Teaching is the only major occupation of man for which we have not yet developed tools that make an average person capable of competence and performance. In teaching we rely on the ‘naturals,’ the ones who somehow know how to teach.”
– Peter Drucker

“We spend the first twelve months of our children‘s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
– Phyllis Diller

“All learning has an emotional base.”
– Plato

“The purpose of education is to teach people how to study on their own. ”
– R.E. Phillips

“One of the main truths of all education is that if the young are not always right, the old are always wrong. ”
– R.H. Tawney

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”
– Ralph Nader

“There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can’t move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.”
– Robert Frost

“Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves.”
– Robert Neelly Bellah

“Police and firefighters are great, but they don’t create wealth. They protect it. That’s crucial. Teaching is a wonderful profession. Teachers help educate people to become good citizens so that citizens can then go create wealth. But they don’t create the wealth themselves.”
– Rush Limbaugh

“No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor. ”
– Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. ”
– Scott Elledge

“An education obtained with money is worse than no education at all.”
– Socrates

“Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

“Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you’ve got something to share.”
– Steve Harvey

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”
– Swami Vivekananda

“What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.”
– Thomas Carlyle

“A teacher should have maximal authority and minimal power. ”
– Thomas S. Szasz

“None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody – a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns – bent down and helped us pick up our boots.”
– Thurgood Marshall

“The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book. ”
– Unknown

“Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person. ”
– Unknown

“What was hard to endure is sweet to recall. ”
– Unknown

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