Sex Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
– Joan Rivers

“My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.”
– Joan Rivers

“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.”
– John Barrymore

“Pornography tells lies about women.  But pornography tells the truth about men.”
– John Stoltenberg

“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.”
– John Waters

“A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.”
– Karl Kraus

“The art of procreation and the members employed therein are so repulsive, that if it were not for the beauty of the faces and the adornments of the actors and the pent-up impulse, nature would lose the human species.”
– Leonardo da Vinci

“My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.”
– Les Dawson

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
– Lily Tomlin

“I wish I had as much in bed as I get in the newspapers.”
– Linda Ronstadt

“Sex… the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.”
– Lord Chesterfield

“If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.”
– Louise Sammons

“Sex is emotion in motion.”
– Mae West

“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.”
– Mae West

“Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old.”
– Malcolm Muggeridge

“It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.”
– Marge Piercy

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
– Marilyn Monroe

“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”
– Mark Twain

“Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.”
– Marlene Dietrich

“The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery.  Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay.”
– Martin Luther

“The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions.  The hypothalamus controls the “Four F’s”: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.”
– Marvin Dunnette

“When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned.  Do not have sex with the authorities.”
– Matt Groening

“Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply:  lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“Nymphomaniac:  a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.”
– Milton Berle

“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered:  entertainment, food, and affection.  It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection.  As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.  When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating.  Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.”
– Miss Manners

“It doesn’t matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses.”
– Mrs. Patrick Campbell

“Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?”
– Murray Banks

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.  Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
– P.J. O’Rourke

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