Short Funny Quotes And Sayings For Quick Humor

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of short funny quotes and sayings from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.”
– Josh Billings

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.”
– Mary H. Waldrip

“Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.”
– Albert King

“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
– Anonymous

“Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.”
– Anonymous

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
– Albert Einstein

“Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.”
– P.D. East

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
– Dave Barry

“The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.”
– Anonymous

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”
– Anonymous

“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.”
– Joey Adams

“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“He who laughs last didn’t get it.”
– Helen Giangregorio

“The road to success is always under construction.”
– Lily Tomlin

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”
– Robert Bloch

“Don’t ask me anything, and I won’t tell you any lies.”
– Anonymous

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.”
– Socrates

“Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.”
– Anonymous

“The best revenge is massive success.”
– Frank Sinatra

“There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.”
– Anonymous

“It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.”
– Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”
– Alison Boulter

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before ”
– Mae West

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
– Mark Twain

“Humor is despair refusing to take itself seriously.”
– Arland Ussher

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”
– Mark Twain

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin

“Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.”
– Bertrand Russell

“Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.”
– Lisa Hoffman

“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich

“I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.”
– Jonathan Winters

“Familiarity breeds contempt… and children.”
– Mark Twain

“Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.”
– Philander Johnson

“Do not try to live for ever. You will not succeed.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.”
– Linus Pauling

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Follow this site