Silly Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of silly sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back. ”
– Nigerian Proverb

“Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.”
– Aldous Huxley

“Nothing is over until we decide it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!!”
– Animal House

“A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you”
– Anon

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”
– Anon

“Some people say that one’s personality is reflected off of their car… Well, I have no car.”
– Anon

“A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you. ”
– Anon

“All of my friends and I are crazy. That’s what keeps us sane! ”
– Anonymous

“Consciousness: that annoying time between naps! ”
– Anonymous

“I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week. ”
– Anonymous

“Why is the word ‘Abbreviation’ so long? ”
– Anonymous

“Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.”
– Benny Hill

“People are too durable, that’s their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, they last too long.”
– Bertolt Brecht

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
– Buddy Hackett

“A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.”
– Burt Bacharach

“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ”
– Chauncey Mitchell Depew

“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.”
– Chauncey Mitchell Depew

“Cheese… milk’s leap toward immortality.”
– Clifton Fadiman

“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.”
– Dick Cavett

“Sir, you are like a pin, but without either its head or its point.”
– Douglas Jerrold

“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha! ”
– Eddie Murphy (Shrek)

“You couldn’t get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.”
– Edward Flaherty

“A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.”
– Erma Bombeck

“A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name. ”
– Evan Esar

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
– Flip Wilson

“California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.”
– Fred Allen

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
– Fred Allen

“He swallowed a lot of wisdom, but all of it seems to have gone down the wrong way.”
– Georg C. Lichtenberg

“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
– George Burns

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. ”
– George Carlin

“I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.”
– George Carlin

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ”
– George Carlin

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
– George Carlin

“Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. ”
– Geraldo Rivera

“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
– Groucho Marx

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