Simpsons Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

A collection of Simpsons quotes and sayings from this popular cartoon series.

“Homer: D’oh.”

“Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.”

“Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.”

“Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.”

“Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!”

“Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…”

“Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!”

“Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!”

“Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three Highlander movies.”

“Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.”

“Sideshow Bob: I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.”

“Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.”

“Nelson: Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!”

“Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*”

“Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace accidentally with repeatedly and replace dog with son.”

“Comic Book Guy: Last night’s Itchy and Scratchy Show was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.”

“Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.”

“Homer: Save me, Jeebus.”

“Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.”

“Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.”

“Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”

“Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?”

“Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”

“Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.”

“Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?”

“Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!”

“Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.”

“Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.”

“Homer: You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.”

“Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying Boo-urns, Boo-urns.”

“Hans Moleman: I was saying Boo-urns.”

“Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

“Homer: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.”

“Homer: When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!”

“Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.”

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