Simpsons Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“Apu: Thank you, steal again.”

“Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.”

“Ed Begley Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.”

“Bart: I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.”

“Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.”

“Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.”

“Lisa, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.*”

“Sorry mom, the mob has spoken.”

“…A little help?”

“So I said to myself: what would God do in this situation?”

“The goggles, they do nothing!”

“And I’m not easily impressed — WOW, A BLUE CAR!”

“Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun.”

“Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock.”

“My son’s name is also Bort.”

“We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want any more bears!”

“There’s an angry mob here to see you, sir.”

“It’s just like I’ve always said: Democracy doesn’t work.”

“I’d kill you if I had my gun!”

“Let’s fight. …Them’s fightin’ words!”

“Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!”

“You’ll pick many a bean.”

“Woozle wazzle?”

“Stupid like a fox!”

“Maybe there is no moral. Maybe it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened.”

“I’m about to convene another meeting… in bed.”

“…Jeremy’s iron?”

“‘Learned,’ son. The word is ‘learned.’”

“I see you’ve played knifey spooney before.”

“D’oh! A deer! A female deer.”

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