Smoking Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of smoking quotes and sayings from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”
– Mark Twain

“The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.”
– Jarod Kintz

“Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren’t.”
– David Sedaris

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
– Brooke Shields

“A bitch always smokes.” He looks back at Lucy. “A bitch is the opposite of a whore. A bitch doesn’t need anybody. Or she wants people to think she doesn’t need anybody. And she smokes to prove it.”
– C. Joybell C.

“People tell me I shouldn’t smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.”
– Robert Clarke

“[Lighting a cigarette] Well, I’m not here to impinge on anybody else’s lifestyle. If I’m in a place where I know I’m going to harm somebody’s health or somebody asks me to please not smoke, I just go outside and smoke. But I do resent the way the nonsmoking mentality has been imposed on the smoking minority. Because, first of all, in a democracy, minorities do have rights. And, second, the whole pitch about smoking has gone from being a health issue to a moral issue, and when they reduce something to a moral issue, it has no place in any kind of legislation, as far as I’m concerned.”
– Frank Zappa

“Smoking I find the most ridiculous of all the varieties of human behavior and practically the only one that is entirely against nature. Can you imagine a cow or any animal taking a mouthful of smoldering straw than breathing in the smoke and blowing it out through its nostrils?”
– Ian Fleming

“Man, it was a good thing vampires didn’t get cancer. Lately he’d been chain-smoking like a felon.”
– J.R. Ward

“Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?” her husband, Jack, asked her. “I’m bored with knitting. I’ve taken up arson”
– Audrey Niffenegger

“Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, “Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they’re flushed out to sea with the rest of the city’s filth. After such time, we will systematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives.”
– George Carlin

“My dad is dead. And as I type this, by the window, on the rainy day, I am alive, yes. I am living. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like I am doing it fast enough, or hard enough, or all the way. And it is times like that when I can understand wanting a cigarette in my hand, then my mouth, then my hand again. Holding the cigarette. Tending to the cigarette. Giving the cigarette what it needs. Tapping it in the ashtray. Sucking on it.
– Amy Fusselman

“Who knows whether, if I had given up smoking, I should really have become the strong perfect man I imagined? Perhaps it was this very doubt that bound me to my vice, because life is so much pleasanter if one is able to believe in one’s own latent greatness”

– Italo Svevo

“I ran like a cheetah – well, like a cheetah that smoked too much.”
– John Greene

“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off”
– Jarod Kintz

“Cigarettes are a classy way to commit suicide.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“I quit smoking in December. I’m really depressed about it. I love smoking, I love fire, I miss lighting cigarettes. I like the whole thing about it, to me it turns into the artist’s life, and now people like Bloomberg have made animals out of smokers, and they think that if they stop smoking everyone will live forever.”
– David Lynch

“Char bought a pack of clove cigarettes, claiming they tasted good, to which I ask why doesn’t she just go suck on a clove so I don’t have to inhale her perfumed second hand smoke?”
– Julie Halpern

“My daughter told me she wasn’t afraid of spider but that she was afraid of my smoking. She said that she was afraid of my dying. So I went downstairs, picked up a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and showed her what real fear was.”
– Robert Clarke

“If I had felt then as I feel now, or as I felt a few years after I had married her, nothing could possibly have persuaded me to marry a woman who smoked. Dates, yes. Sexual adventures, yes. But to pin myself permanently inside closed quarters with a smoker? Never. Never. Never. Beauty wouldn’t count, sweetness wouldn’t count, suitability in every other respect wouldn’t count.”
– Issac Asimov

“He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.”
– Edward George Bulwer Lytton

“Then she declared loudly, “Smoke break!” and everyone’s eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.”
– Kristen Ashley

“Strange as it may seem, there is nothing in which a young and beautiful female appears to more advantage than in the art of smoking.”
– Herman Melville

“Trying to quit smoking I’m out and have decided the best way to quit is to simply not buy them. “I can’t” generally means “I choose not to”.”
– Stanley Victor Paskavich

“Hugh returned from his trip, and days later I still sounded like a Red Chinese asking questions about the democratic hinterlands. “And you actually saw people smoking in restaurants? Really! And offices, too? Oh, tell me again about the ashtrays in the hospital waiting room, and don’t leave anything out.”
– David Sedarris

“Seth lay on a sofa. His large dirty work boots were defiantly planted on the sofa cushion, all his energy focused on smoking a cigarette, as if it were a job.
– Frederick Weisel

“the wretcheder one is, the more one smokes; and the more one smokes, the wretcheder one gets—a vicious circle.”
– George Du Maurier

“Have you not reason then to be ashamed and to forbear this filthy novelty, so basely grounded, so foolishly received and so grossly mistaken in the right use thereof. In your abuse thereof sinning against God harming yourselves both in person and goods, and raking also thereby the marks and notes of vanity upon you by the custom thereof making yourselves to be wondered at by all foreign civil nations and by all strangers that come among you to be scorned and held in contempt; a custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.”
– King James of England

“When you don’t hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.”
– Bauvard

“Not Really,” he said then lit a cigarette and handed it to me. I inhaled. Coughed. Wheezed. Gasped for breath. Coughed again. Considered vomiting. Grabbed the swinging bench, head spinning, and threw the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, convinced my Great Perhaps did not involve cigarettes.”
– John Greene

“Rather than you smoking a cigarette, the cigarette is really smoking you.”
– Anthony Liccione

“Smoking had become my favorite thing in the world to do. It was like having instant comfort, no matter where or when.”
– Augusten Burroughs

“smoking had come to be an important punctuation mark in the long sentence of a day on the road.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You all smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die.”
– John Greene

“I understand that smoking is vaguely inappropriate in certain situations. You know, like an orphanage, cancer ward, whatever.”
– Greg Proops

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