Some Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes

by allinspiration.com

“Roses are red, violets are blue. If he’s busy on Valentines Day, the side chick is you! ”

“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed. ”

“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.”

“To all my friends who are committed: Happy Valentine’s Day!. and To all my friends who are single, Happy Independence Day ”

“To all my single friends. If no one else loves you, I do. Happy Valentine’s Day! ”

“Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.”

“Tomorrow is Valentine’s day. Don’t worry if you’re single. You’re going to die alone anyway! ”

“Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.”

“Valentines Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together. ”

“Valentines Day shouldn’t be the only day you place a girl above everything else ”

“Whale you be my Valentine? “Dolphinately” ”

“What did one light bulb say to the other? “I love you a whole watt!” ”

“What did one pickle say to the other? “You mean a great dill to me.” ”

“What did the bat say to his girlfriend? “You’re fun to hang around with.” ”

“What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? “I love you a ton!” ”

“What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche! ”

“What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you!” ”

“What did the painter say to her boyfriend? “I love you with all my art!” ”

“What did the paper clip say to the magnet? “I find you very attractive.” ”

“What did the valentine’s day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you’ll go places.”

“What do single people call Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day ”

“What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny! What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you!” ”

“What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts! ”

“What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants! ”

“What is another way of saying Happy Valentines day! S.A.D, Singles Awareness Day! ”

“What is the true purpose of Valentine’s Day? To remind single people they are single. ”

“What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon Gosselin? Desperate! ”

“What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love? A stupid cupid! ”

“What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. ”

“When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. ‘The first ten years are the hardest.’ ‘How long have you been married?’ she asked. ‘Ten years’, he replied. ”

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