Valentine Funny Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Let this collection of Valentine funny quotes and sayings bring some laughter to you and your love life.

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
– Agatha Christie

“If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.”
– Albert Camus

“I wasn’t kissing her. I was just whispering in her mouth.”
– Albert Einstein

“It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”
– Alfred, Lord Tennyson

“Its funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception.”
– Ally Mcbeal

“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.”
– Ann Landers

“A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you.”
– Anonymous

“Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.”
– Anonymous

“Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.”
– Anonymous

“I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine’s day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it’s these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.”
– Anonymous

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
– Anonymous

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
– Anonymous

“Love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”
– Anonymous

“Sales Ad at a Store: ‘You are my one and only’ valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.”
– Anonymous

“Valentines Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”
– Anonymous

“You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.”
– Anonymous

“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.”
– Antoine De Saint-Exupery

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
– Aristotle

“Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”
– Armistead Maupin

“Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”
– Armistead Maupin

“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.”
– Barbara Bush

“Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.”
– Basta

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think–in a deeper voice.”
– Bill Cosby

“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”
– Brendan Francis

“If you don’t have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don’t go looking for someone. When it’s right, they’ll come to you.”
– Carmen Electra

“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
– Cathy Carlyle

“Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.”
– Catullus

“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”
– Chico Marx

“Love, like a river, will cut a new path Whenever it meets an obstacle.”
– Crystal Middlemas

“Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.”
– David Letterman

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”
– David Viscott

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.”
– Dolly Parton

“I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.”
– Dorothy Parker

“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.”
– Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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