Valentine Humor For A Good Laugh

by allinspiration.com

Seeking some Valentine humor? Here are some funny jokes, sayings and quotes to tickle your love bones.

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.”
– Aerosmith

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
– Agatha Christie

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.”
– Alonzo, age 9

“One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.”
– Andrew, age 6

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.”
– Anita C., age 8

“How Do I Love Thee When You’re Always Picking Your Nose?”
– Arnold, age 10

“People in love are mooshy… like puppy dogs… except puppy dogs don’t wag their tails nearly as much.”
– Arnold, age 10

“Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.”
– Author Unknown

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.”
– Ava, age 8

“If you’re sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.”
– Azgraybebly Joslan

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold… Other people care more about the food.”
– Bart, age 9

“I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don’t Bother Me When I’m with My Friends.”
– Bob, age 9

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.”
– Bobby, age 9

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.”
– Brian, age 7

“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
– Cathy Carlyle

“Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.”
– Catullus

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are — on fire.”
– Christine, age 9

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.”
– Christine, age 9

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”
– Dave, age 8

“Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.”
– David Letterman

“Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat.”
– Dick, age 7

“‘I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!”
– Eddie, age 6

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
– Erich Segal

“Love is foolish … but I still might try it sometime.”
– Floyd, age 9

“Lovers hold hands because they want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.”
– Gavin, age 8

“Love, and a cough, cannot be hid.”
– George Herbert

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.”
– Glenn, age 7

“A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers after four kisses.”
– H.L. Mencken

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
– Henry Kissinger

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.”
– Jill, age 6

“Don’t talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!”
– Joan Rivers

“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”
– John Barrymore

“Falling in love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.”
– John, age 9

“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.”
– Jonathan Carroll

“Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.”
– Jonathon Swift

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