Witty Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
– Paul Newman

“It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
– Paul Newman

“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight. ”
– Phyllis Diller

“Love is a grave mental disease. ”
– Plato

“Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last ”
– Remy de Gourmont

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.”
– Rene Descartes

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ”
– Rita Rudner

“The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one. ”
– Rita Rudner

“When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. ”
– Rita Rudner

“Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”"
– Rita Rudner

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”
– Robert Bloch

“Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.”
– Roger Lewin

“Don’t look back, somebody might be gaining on you. ”
– Satchel Paige

“Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.”
– Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

“Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.”
– Shimon Peres

“The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.”
– Sid Caesar

“A business must have a conscience as well as a counting house.”
– Sir Montague Burton

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. ”
– Socrates

“You proceed from a false assumption: I have no ego to bruise.”
– Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”
– Steven Wright

“-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.”
– Terry Pratchett

“You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.”
– Terry Pratchett

“Nature composes some of her loveliest poems for microscope and telescope.”
– Theordore Roszak

“Don’t let someone be a priority in your life when you are still an option in their life.”
– Unknown

“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.”
– Unknown

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”
– Unknown

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Unknown

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
– Unknown

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