Yet More Funny Sayings And Quotes For A Good Laugh

by allinspiration.com

Here is yet another collection of funny sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”
– A. Whitney Brown

“An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ”
– Agatha Christie.

“Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.”
– Agnes Repplier

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. ”
– Albert Einstein

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
– Albert Einstein

“Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. ”
– Ambrose Bierce

“I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don’t know. I mean, how can you tell?”
– Andy Warhol

“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.”
– Angelina Jolie

“At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” 
– Ann Landers

“No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.”
– Annie Leibovitz

“I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
– Anthony Anderson

“What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we’re chatting away, nice to see you.”
– Anthony Holden

“It’s funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It’s like being backstage and hoping you don’t trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant.”
– Ashley Judd

“Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life. ”
– Author Unknown

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ”
– Author unknown, as printed in The Hoosier Farmer

“I wanted to be funny for people who didn’t care about fashion at all, to just to kind of exist as a silly character.”
– Ben Stiller

“The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. ”
– Bill Cosby

“Humor is everywhere, in that there’s irony in just about anything a human does.”
– Bill Nye

“A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.” 
– Bill Vaughan

“A comedian’s body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.”
– Bobby Darin

“Well what’s funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob’s hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured.”
– Brad Bird

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.”
– Brendan Behan

“A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they’re very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what’s really important and not read them – don’t dive into it and don’t get caught up in it.”
– Calista Flockhart

“It’s so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they’d laugh.”
– Calista Flockhart

“A woman has to be intelligent, have charm, a sense of humor, and be kind. It’s the same qualities I require from a man.”
– Catherine Deneuve

“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” 
– Charles Wadsworth

“Men should be like Kleenex…soft, strong, disposable. ”
– Cher

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’.” 
– Chris Rock

“Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” 
– Christopher Marlowe

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” 
– Claude Pepper

“A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself.”
– Clifton Fadiman

“The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that, despite human failings, the Simpsons are really decent people.”
– Dan Castellaneta

“I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.”
– David Cross

“There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.”
– David Cross

“You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it’s supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you’re doing and make the action work for that and for the character.”
– David Ellis

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