Yet More Funny Sayings And Quotes For A Good Laugh

by allinspiration.com

“To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.” 
– Unknown

“Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.” 
– Unknown

“Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?” 
– Unknown

“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.” 
– Unknown

“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.” 
– Unknown

“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” 
– Unknown

“If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.” 
– Unknown

“Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.” 
– Unknown

“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.”
– W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer‘s Notebook, 1949

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” 
– Winston Churchill

“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. ”
– Woodrow Wyatt

“I was nauseous and tingly all over… I was either in love or I had smallpox. ”
– Woody Allen

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down. ”
– Woody Allen

“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

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